M-y A-wesome U-ndertaking!!!!!

It's been weeks and probably the proudest thing I could say right now after speaking to the person I broke up with is that I composed myself too well to just let it all out....in short, I learned to be HONEST in a very awkward way...

It has been a year where lots of lies were made, lots of denials and betrayal experienced. Through it, I gained respect for myself and I taught myself a valuable lesson. I cannot be someone else's baggage nor would I allow someone to be mine (baggage I mean!).

Decision-making is such an easy task to some but probably may just be the most difficult for the rest. I'll include myself in the latter. It has been sometime that I refused to accept that something must be broken to have it fixed...yet, I kept on fixing what appears to be a stubborn mess. Now that I have finally made that decision, it hurts a while but becomes an avenue of reminder that we do need to do it.

It is not easy speaking to someone you spent most of your time day in and day out that you're dating someone. Im in limbo though as this dating is something I have not anticipated just right after getting out of a relationship. To some, your intention of getting out might just be viewed as rubbish....Could you stop your heart beating just because you broke up? I dont think so....

I call all the gods right now just let me and allow me to take each day as a blessing that I will meet wonderful people. People that may not necessarily be the one I would end up for a long period of time but someone I can dearly consider.

No where the hell am I? Still lost and needs to be found.....

Springing Back to Life

I have a mission....

Muda in Japanese means waste.
That's basically what I have been having and taking for the past year. I've had lots of wasted moments and opportunities. I could have stopped myself and said that I should have no regrets over what I have done but as of writing this piece today, hell YES I have regrets...

Between me and sex? Hmmmm, wait a second...I don't think there's much of a comparison yeah? But to actually fight over it and convince someone to choose me over sex is just a little too much. Make that offensive....

I was asked "isn't it that you asked me for my convenient time?" I guess I did but then again I said "No this is what supposed to be done, we do not make sex as an objective in this set up"...That person insisted.

To the reader, I am currently in an open relationship status.

Then I realized that I wasn't important at all because the compromise could not be achieved. So I presented the option of cooling off so that person could figure out what was needed and wanted. Is it me or sex? I wasn't picked....Too bad for me....I sucked at it I guess.....

Today, I made a promise....I'll let go for good.
Ill hit the gym again and get back to my old self. I am not fat but I wasnt the fit guy admired by most of my colleagues as I thought it wasn't important when I settled down. I'll love myself without being consumed by it. I'll take things one at a time and then I will see what the future holds for me.

For you, THINK!
Think of the choices you have made because your choice defines the character you have. Right now, your choice just made you one heck of an asshole.....